i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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