You're my little dorito
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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