She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
