The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
