I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just cropdusted the office
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize