I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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