he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I've blown a few things in my day
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
