Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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