Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
