i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
