Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize