I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
