She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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