it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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