dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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