I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
