Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize