"it" just moved
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
