And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Verdict: uncircumcised.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
