Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
