PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize