So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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