Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
