Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
