why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
