no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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