Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
