I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
