i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i barfeds in our rink
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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