I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
