Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
