Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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