It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize