I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
