if you like me you must not know who I am
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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