he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize