I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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