i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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