And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
