I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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