I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
