she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize