Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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