I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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