I CAN MOONWALK!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
