So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
