you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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