I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
