I just saw a hot homeless man
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
