Too much gin, very little bucket
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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