Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
