They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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