I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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