He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
