I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
