Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wear drunk well.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
