I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
