All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And then he peed in my hair
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