escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
