I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
