She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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