He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize