No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
