I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize