Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just googled if crying burns calories
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize